Rumor Mill
by Phoenyxx
Summary: [One Shot] Did you hear? Rumor has it...Wait. The Fullmetal Alchemist is near. Scatter! [Roy and Edwardcentric]


**Rumor Mill**

**A/N:** Not RoyEd – Merely Roy and Edward in the same story.

**Warning:** Repeating the same swear words over and over…and over.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

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"_Oh fucking hell! It was just a _damn_ slip of the tongue…"_

Edward glowered at everyone and anything that got in his way. He was like a rampaging ball of anger trying to burn down Central headquarters using his frustration as the weapon. But can anyone really _blame_ him?

"_And then _this_ happens."_

Blame him? No. They would probably end up as a nasty, red splotch on a wall if they came too close to his proximity to say anything about the Incident.

"_This is so…"_ Edward stopped and screwed his expression. He felt mortified, horrified, and embarrassed all rolled up into one, almost giving him a stomach ulcer…Or at least, that's what he's associating these _feelings_ with. If anything, it felt as if his pride was trampled over and over again; the rolling wave of rage became the stark reminder between loathing and wallowing in self-pity.

"_Damn it!"_ Ed's left eye twitched in aggravation when he spotted a couple of soldiers walking down the hallway, seemingly laughing at something. He did the only thing he could think of doing in such short notice: he _glared_.

The soldiers seem to notice because they paled and immediately ran away.

"_It doesn't help that _somehow_ nearly half the military is whispering about this behind my back!"_

Golden eyes flashed with unsuppressed rage and he continued walking to his destination, which happened to be Central library.

"_Who would've known that the military could be filled with so many gossiping idiots? Don't they have anything better to do!? It's nearly been a week now…"_

Edward stalked out the doors, slamming them open. He was greeted by the blue sky and the cheery hustle-bustle of the city.

"_Annoying flies – no BEES – they all are…All I need is a fucking gigantic fly swatter and smack them all to gooey pieces. That would teach 'em not to mess with _me_!"_

People shuddered and shied away from him when they saw the maniacal grin. The Fullmetal Alchemist walked on, oblivious to the onlookers, and continued to plot the horrendous death of all the officers that dared to make fun of him…

…starting with one Flame Alchemist, of course.

------------------------------

"Al, are you suggesting that I'm avoiding _him_?"

The suit of armor sighed and shifted his arms. "Oh? Then what are you doing right now?"

"I'm…I'm just conveniently busy in the library…at the dusty corner reading up on important material that can only be found here!" Edward turned his gaze up until it rested on the metal helmet. "I am not avoiding him."

"Oh please, brother." Alphonse sounded exasperated and mentally noted how Ed looked like a sulking cat right now. "You were asked to his office yesterday but you made up some sort of lame excuse to get away."

"But Al!" Edward started to whine and it took all of Al's willpower not to drag his dear brother out of the library and throw him into Colonel Mustang's office himself. "You know that if I go to his office I'll be tormented by the never-ending, _degrading_, short jokes! And now…Now he has new material to use against me!" He huffed in afterthought, "And I'm NOT short!"

Curious heads popped up around the aisle and Alphonse waved in apology. He hissed quietly, "Ed! I think you should calm down or we'll both be kicked out."

"Calm down?" Ed slammed the book he was reading shut. "Oh, I'm calm alright…As calm as I can be after associating Colonel Bastard with_ him_!"

Clearly, his brother was near hysterical. Alphonse rested a gauntlet on his brother's shoulder and spoke, "No you didn't…Well, not on purpose anyway. I think I'm justified in saying that going without three days of sleep would make anyone tired, including you."

"Three days of sleep lost because of some fucked up assignment, you mean." Edward did not even bother to clean up his language, which he usually did when around his younger brother; he was stressed and royally pissed.

Al waited until the red on Edward's face receded before prodding him. "Brother…"

Edward screeched, "No! No, I'm not going."

And that's what he kept repeating as he stared at the closed office door back at Central headquarters.

"_Damn it Al…I thought you were on _my_ side!"_

Alphonse pushed his brother and Edward snapped irritably, "Alright!" The rest of the office members present smirked at each other, waiting for the show to start, except for Riza, of course, who merely clicked her tongue in annoyance.

The Fullmetal Alchemist pounded the door open without bothering to knock, entering into his colonel's office lair of impending doom.

The door slammed shut behind him.

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Quickly, he noticed how silent the office was and how Mustang was sitting behind his desk diligently pretending to do his paperwork.

"_Fucking bastard…Pretending not to notice me…And then call me _short._"_

Edward glowered at the black-haired man and demanded, "Well, what do you want?"

Colonel Mustang looked up, his faux surprised expression melted to fit the suave smirk. He leaned back into his chair, arm propped up so that his chin rested on his hand; however, he stayed silent, not making any motion to say a word.

The shorter alchemist waited impatiently, hands clenched by his side to contain the anger. He asked again, "_Well?_ If you have nothing to say, I'm going to leave, Colonel Bastard."

Acting a sigh, the colonel got up from his seat, hands behind his back, and walked around his desk so that he was right in front of Ed; he then promptly scrutinized him, eyes unblinking.

"_Oh another one of your little games?"_ thought Edward vehemently as he glared back and nearly fidgeted. _Nearly_. He wasn't about to give him the satisfaction to see his discomfort.

He could see the glimmer in his dark eyes, trying to lull him into a false sense of security, hiding away the plans of bringing up the Incident and the short jokes…

Ed lashed out angrily, "What? No baiting? Huh? Getting senile?!" He pointed an accusing finger at him. "I know what you're planning, colonel."

The infuriating, perfect, scheming smirk widened. Roy glanced at his fuming subordinate one more time before the unimaginable happened: he _ruffled_ Ed's hair. Ruffled it! He did it in a very teasing manner and when he stopped, there were blonde strands of hair that went astray from the tight braid.

"You…You-!" Shocked, Edward could only stare.

Pleased with the results, Colonel Mustang turned Edward around, shoved him out of his office, and slammed the door shut.

Everyone in the office shared a look, slightly surprised with the almost quiet exchange; there were no screams and death threats during the entire time Edward was inside his office and that, in itself, was spectacularly wrong. However, stranger yet was when Ed came out of the room with hair sticking out every which way.

Perhaps the rumors…were wrongly true?

The blonde-haired teen eventually fell out of his stupor and quickly forced the door open to let himself in before slamming it shut again. Roy faced the irate alchemist just as he entered.

Ed promptly screeched at his superior officer, who still had that teasing smirk on his face, "Mustang you fucking prick! Don't act as if I'm a child _DAMN IT._ And to set things straight, I'm NOT your fucking illegitimate child with Riza!"

It was then did Edward realize he fell into Mustang's ruse again._ "Shit."_

The calm, deep voice echoed in the room. "Why if I do remember correctly Fullmetal, you started the rumor yourself."

"Well fuck you."

"How eloquently put."

Edward sputtered. "I'm NOT your son!"

The colonel didn't say anything as the same smirk tugged at his lips.

"…And I don't have a father." Edward glared at him, almost defiantly telling him not to go against this fact.

Roy could feel the angst bleed through the pores of his young subordinate, and he actually sighed before sitting back into his office chair. "Are you really that bothered about all of this…Edward?"

The blonde head craned upwards in slight surprise after hearing his first name being used, but it was the tone of voice that caught him off-guard. He studied Roy's expression. No smirk, no malice, no mocking undertones - just sincere concern.

So sincere that it was making him sick.

Edward turned around on his heels and exited abruptly.

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No whispers trailing after him as he walked. Just…quiet. Pure, blissful peace.

It had been a day since his confrontation with Mustang and when Edward found himself free from the hushed voices and laughter, he knew what had happened.

He knew and he felt unwilling gratitude to that bastard.

"_Now what am I supposed to do?"_ Edward wrung his hands together and shuffled towards the colonel's office. _"Why does everything have to be so complicated!"_

"_I'm not about to thank Colonel Bastard and make myself look like a fool."_

He peeked through the door, and unsurprisingly enough, the office was empty. It was much too late for anyone to be working, so what was he doing here?

"_But I can't just…let this slide. Mustang didn't need to do that."_

Much like he didn't need to keep his human transmutation fallout a secret. He has no obligation to do so…but he did.

Edward felt like slamming his head against the wall - repeatedly if it helped - but with a moment's stroke of impulse, he left the office without a backwards glance.

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Early in the next morning, Roy Mustang returned to his office nodding in greeting to the other person present before turning into his private room. Riza watched the door shut and she began to shuffle the new paperwork.

The colonel stretched and yawned, opening the blinds to allow the morning light to filter into the room. He slid a window outwards, the warm scent of breakfast wafting into the room, and then turned around to face his desk.

His eyebrow rose up past his hairline in surprise when his sweeping gaze landed on the out-of-place object. The dots connected quickly.

Roy smiled with actual chuckles escaping his throat; he carefully traced the gift with his index finger, and picked it up. _"What do you take me for Fullmetal? A girl?"_

He twirled the object in his hands, thoughtful. _"Quite uncharacteristically sentimental though."_

Strolling out of his office, he placed the gift onto his first lieutenant's desk. "Here you go Hawkeye."

Riza stared at the present. "A ring of flowers, sir?" She looked up at him with a puzzled frown.

Roy smirked and shrugged. "Fullmetal." _You're the one that threatened the whole office, and not to mention half the military, to shut up with your guns. –_ Words that were left unspoken but the meaning lingered in the air.

The female blonde hid her smile gracefully before speaking in a clipped tone, "Colonel. It was one thing to have Fullmetal accidentally calling you his father, and another when I was tossed into this rumor mill."

"No need to explain Hawkeye." Roy grinned, "Anyone sane enough would not want to be a part of a rumor."

"_If Edward was any key indication to how rumors can drive someone up the wall…Clearly he's losing it. He gave me, the Flame Alchemist, flowers._

…

…_This better not end up in the rumor mill."_

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**End**

OOC? Hope not. First time trying to characterize them and everything…So they might be a bit skewed.

And I hope this kind of story idea hasn't been written yet. There are _way_ too many stories in this fandom to check.

Spyrit


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